The Vending Machine

Slowing Tip-toeing  and casual passing by the cafeteria. Just a quick peek to see if anybody there. Tables naked, chairs empty, and nothing but silence. Such great excitement runs down my body! Confidently walk in the deserted cafeteria and promptly get the usual snacks from the vending machine. The machine greet me as a drug dealer, “I knew you would come back for more!”. It’s not a great feeling, but I need something to relax the cravings! Usually I get three. Why? One chip (something salty), one fruity snack (starburst or special K), and something chocolaty (candy, muffin, cookie). Then after succeeding obtaining my junk food feast, hide two of the smallest items in pockets. I wanted people to believe I went to the vending machine for one thing. Then I  try to walk away like I’m not a gluttonous whore!

This is what I have been doing when I go to the vending machine. Why? Because I’m fat! If a skinny girl goes to the vending machine nobody thinks of it. Or they think, “well bitch needs more then a trail mix snack! She needs every item in there!” A fat person goes to the vending machine and it’s like, “Really? You need to cut back bitch!” It’s really nerve racking. You get all these stares, hear murmurs and quiet giggles as you select the Snicker bar from the machine. It’s the most dreadful thing.

Even if you get the healthiest snack from the vending machine, it still doesn’t work on a fat girl’s favor. The fact a fat girl is at the vending machine, is already horrible. Then I go and select the healthy choice and it’s like, “oh this heifer on a diet? It won’t last won’t for long”

To be fat is bad enough. Fat person going to the vending machine? Good god! That’s asking for trouble! This is why I avoid the vending machine as much as possible. But there are times when I feel hungry and I just want to have a snack. Usually I would pack up my apple, grapes, oranges, or bananas, but sometimes I forget. Sometimes, I ran out of food or I’m too poor to go grocery shopping and I have to look for change under the couch cushions so I can get a snack from the vending machine. Shit happens.

The fact I have to do some 007 stunt is ridiculous! There are a few times I go in the cafeteria when they are people there. It’s just uncomfortable, because you know eyes are on you now. Just gazing upon you and passing judgment left and right. Making you feel bad about yourself and feel guilty to go to the vending machine. As if the vending machine was a nightclub and the bouncer won’t let you in, but would let the skinny girls enter in a heart beat. It’s the eyes of shame. It’s one of the worse feelings that a big person can ever feel.

At my job there’s a security guard that is also my best friend. She is a plus size as well. She as well, hate going to the vending machine when the cafeteria is flooded. Sometimes I make her go get snack for me so I don’t look like a fat ass. Or we would both go to the vending machine, but the snacks she gets are my snacks. I do the same for her. We big girls got to stick together, right? Knowing I’m not alone in this brings me in great ease.

Anyway, the trip to the vending machine is the ultimate dread for a fat girl. Can anybody relate?